Zerostrata Read online

  “Why?”

  “It just feels good.”

  “I’ve always been terrified of it. I don’t like heights that much anyway. You know, I don’t think I ever came up here by myself. I think I was always with you or some neighbor kid. This place was quite legendary in the neighborhood when we were children.”

  “I don’t think we would have had any friends at all if it wasn’t for Zerostrata. Everybody wanted to come up in it at least once but most kids’ parents wouldn’t let them.”

  “It’s dangerous.”

  “Of course it is. I think that’s part of the thrill of it.”

  “The fear of death. Even now, I think I’m terrified of it. Mother said something about pirates living in it last year. It was their hideout.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but she wouldn’t turn them in because she said she was just glad to see somebody putting it to use.”

  “She likes to see things going to use, doesn’t she? She has that big house nobody uses and that big bank account nobody uses. All these things and nobody seems to be using any of them.”

  “I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Thanks.” I paused, not really knowing how to process this unusual display of affection from Zasper. “I’m glad to be home. I’m glad to see all of you. In a way it doesn’t feel like I’ve been away all that long.”

  “You’re not really planning on staying, are you?”

  “I guess I don’t think I’m really planning on staying very long.”

  “Why did you come back?”

  “I think I had to come back.”

  “That’s not true. You don’t really have to do anything.”

  “One has to do a lot of things. But it’s not like that. It’s not like paying bills or going to school or getting out of bed in the morning. It’s more like having to do something because you know it’s the right thing to do and if you do this one thing you know you have to do then you hope it will make your life okay again. Does that make any sense?”

  “Sure. So what did you do when you went away for so long?”

  “I don’t know. I think I wrote some stuff.”

  “I always liked reading your stories.”

  “Yeah? It never really panned out. Things happened. The dreams dried up.”

  “How do dreams dry up?”

  “I don’t know. I used to think the only dreams that could come to me would be in my head.”

  “Isn’t that where dreams come from?”

  “I used to think so.”

  “You don’t think so anymore?”

  “No. Now I think there are dreams outside of my head. Like Zerostrata. I had been away from it so long but I never realized how much a part of me it had become and, before I came back, before I rode the elevator up here, I almost couldn’t believe it was real. I used to think a dream was something I could never really have but then I realized that was wrong. In fact, thinking like that was downright cruel. A dream had to be something you could have. A dream had to be something you could make physical. I think that’s why I wrote. It got the dreams out of my head and put them onto paper and into other people’s heads and, I don’t think many people read my stories, but for every person who did, my dream became that much more real.”

  “Right. It’s like my New Music. My music is like your writing because even though I kind of created it, others can experience it. It is unique to me but it’s not wholly mine.”

  “Yes.”

  “So what dream are you talking about now? What are you chasing?”

  I debated telling him. Part of me wanted to keep the girl a secret. But I figured if the pirate boys knew about her, chances were a lot of other people did too.

  “Have you ever seen a girl running behind the house? In that trail there around the woods.”

  “I’ve never seen her. But I’ve heard about her. She’s been doing that for years. It’s become pretty commonplace. She’s naked, right?”

  “Completely. And you’ve never seen her?”

  “Nope.”

  “Hm.”

  “And you think this is why you came back?”

  “I don’t know, Zazz.”

  We lay in silence for a while. Maybe we had run out of things to talk about or maybe each one of us was waiting for the other to say something.

  “So tell me more about this sidekick thing with Dad.”

  “I’m hoping that works out. You’re going to think I’m crazy. I thought Dad was crazy when he first told me but, apparently, I can fly.”

  “I don’t think that’s crazy at all. I saw a person fly just today.”

  “You never used to see that.”

  “No, that’s true. You never used to see that.”

  “Dad said I flew once when I was little.”

  “I don’t remember.”

  “Yeah. Maybe this is why I never really liked Zerostrata that much, either. When it was first built, you took me up in it and I promptly ran out the door and off the elevator the first time your back was turned. Dad said he saw the whole thing from his study window. He said I fell about halfway down the height of the tree and then stopped in midair before flying to the porch.”

  “How did it go today?”

  “Pretty good, I guess. I think Dad will take me on as his sidekick whether I can fly or not.”

  “And then you’ll be getting out of Grayson.”

  “Probably.”

  “That’ll leave Mother.”

  “But she’s happy here. She’ll have Mr. Donovan and Francis. That’s all she really needs, I think. She was never much of a kid person.”

  He was right.

  We lay in silence and I slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The Storm

  The next day flew by. When I woke up, Zasper had already left Zerostrata. He had left Zerostrata but hadn’t made it to the house. He had attempted to fly from Zerostrata and now hung from a branch about midway down the oak tree. I hopped in the elevator and started down. The elevator didn’t have a stop button so I just kind of batted at him as I went past. The branch shook a little bit, threatening to loose him. From this altitude, it would have undoubtedly resulted in serious injury had he actually slipped from the branch. But he didn’t. He remained suspended.

  “I’ll get help,” I called.

  “Take your time.”

  Inside, Mother sat at the kitchen table. Mr. Donovan was on top of the table doing a hideous dance, seemingly invented solely for my mother’s amusement and everyone else’s disgust. Mother was glistening and she had painted Tricky a deep purple color. The cat continued to hang on like a trooper, despite her antics. She had affixed a headband around her wig. The headband had two small bowls on either side of it. Tricky’s food was over her right ear. It looked like he was having table scraps this morning. His water hung over the left ear. Tricky had taken up smoking. A cigarette dangled from his mouth, two plumes of smoke now drifting up from Mother’s head.

  “Why are you glistening?” I asked.

  “Oh, you know, I got up this morning and decided I needed a shower but I didn’t feel like taking off my clothes.”

  “There was something I wanted to tell you.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “But I can’t remember what it was.”

  “Then it probably wasn’t important.”

  “You’ve said that ever since I was a small child. Every time I’ve forgotten what it was I wanted to tell you you’ve said it isn’t important. Have you ever wondered if all those things I forgot to tell you were maybe all of the really important thoughts I ever had?”

  “No, not really.”

  “Oh! I remembered what it was. Zasper is hanging in the tree outside. I didn’t know if you wanted to call the fire department to come and get him down or what but he’s out there, hanging all strange like. It might kill him to fall. I’m not sure.”

  “Aw, just drag your dad’s old bean bag out there. That’ll cushion h
is fall. He could probably use the lesson anyway.” Then, addressing Mr. Donovan, she said, “Why don’t we take our little act outside. You can dance under the tree and if the boy happens to fall, you can catch him. Think you can do that?”

  Mr. Donovan nodded his head and, still dancing, still moving in that way that was comical, sickening and perhaps, to some, erotic, he hopped off the kitchen table and began moving toward the back door.

  “There was something I wanted to tell you, too,” Mother said. “Someone called for you last night, while you were out. I left a message on the refrigerator. Guess I’ll go outside and see what Zasper’s gotten himself into.”

  “And if he falls you should tell him that, for just a second, it looked like he was flying. Okay? That would really make his day.”

  “When are you guys going to grow up and stop being so weird?” she asked before heading outside, glistening wet, with a purple smoking cat on her head.

  At the refrigerator, I noticed Mother had actually scrawled the message on its stainless steel surface with a marker. Maybe she was in a drug haze when she wrote it, or maybe it was just that the caller was talking too fast for her to take dictation, but this was what the refrigerator said:

  STAY AWAY DO NOT COME ROUND HERE I KNOW YOU OLD BAB BAB CRIGGET I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING HANG UP DOWN WHYS THE WALL TALKING HORIBUL POOP

  And then, below that, in a virtually unidentifiable scrawl was what I interpreted as the word ‘Jib.’ I didn’t know what that meant but I knew the overall message meant my caller had called back and I again thought of that old woman who welcomed the girl back to her house after each of her trips. It had to be her.

  Standing in the kitchen I was amazed my entire family was outside. I decided tonight, no matter what, I was going to catch the girl. I didn’t care if she didn’t want to be caught or if catching her would somehow objectify her. I just knew I had to get her attention. I had to make eye contact with her. I had to talk to her. Tonight was the night. I would make certain.

  I went outside to enjoy this pleasant summer day with my family. It was strange, all of us out there in the backyard. I couldn’t think of the last time it had happened. I was even beginning to see Mr. Donovan as part of the family. When Francis showed up to begin her day of cleaning, Mother demanded she stay outside and vacuum the lawn and dust the plants. When Francis suggested she could cut the lawn and prune the plants, Mother told her that was gibberish and if she was going to think soft thoughts like that then she needed to “drag her ass back home.” Francis listened and obeyed. I think she even had fun out there, performing ridiculous tasks.

  Throughout the day, the wind picked up and then Francis told us the man on the television had said there was going to be a really big storm coming through the area.

  Zasper fell asleep in the tree and eventually fell off the branch. Unfortunately, Mr. Donovan was distracted when this happened so Zasper landed on the ground. His arm fell off. He stood up and looked down at the arm, a confused expression on his face. Then he bent down, picked up the arm and reattached it to his shoulder. He muttered something and then went back into the house.

  “I think we had all better go inside,” Mother said.

  “I’m going to stay out here.”

  “Are you an idiot? There’s a storm on the way.”

  “I know. I like storms.”

  “You’re not going to go up in that monstrosity are you?”

  “No. I think I’m going to go back on the trail and obsessively wait for the running girl to come.”

  “Don’t get mixed up with her. She’s crazy, I hear.”

  “I intend to find out.”

  She shook her head sullenly and followed Mr. Donovan inside.

  I walked through the backyard and went to sit on the trail. I went over to the girl’s second turn, roughly where I had met the pirate boys, and plopped down. I was hoping I would be able to see her coming and give myself plenty of time to stay in step with her.

  The sky grew dangerously dark. Thunder rumbled. The air smelled of cold rain ready to quench the heat of the day. This didn’t bother me. I knew the girl would come. And when she came, I would be there, sitting on the trail and waiting for her. I didn’t even care if she thought this act was particularly scary.

  And, as the first cold drops of rain began hammering down over the small patch of woods behind the house, turning the soft dirt of the trail into mud, I saw her.

  I looked up as she came toward me, my dream made flesh. Quickly, I stood up. I tried to make eye contact with her but she seemed to be looking at something just in front of her and didn’t even look at me. I heard her puff past me, could almost feel the warmth of her exhalations, could practically touch the cold chills covering her pale skin. I wanted it. I wanted it all. I took off running after her, realizing I hadn’t removed my clothes. Maybe that was why she wouldn’t acknowledge me, because I wasn’t naked like her. I thought about stripping my clothes off as I ran but knew I was way too clumsy. I was lucky just to be able to put on a pair of pants without falling over, let alone trying to remove pants while running at full speed. Hell, I had to focus just to run at full speed and not fall down.

  Nevertheless, I ran, keeping pace, almost able to reach out and touch her. Then, instead of rounding the fourth and final turn, she did something else. She veered to her right, off onto one of the smaller trails cutting through the thin woods.

  I followed her.

  The thunder boomed in the sky, rattling my teeth, shaking the ground. The lightning flashed its neon skeleton’s hand. I chased the soft lilac scent of the girl in front of me.

  She slowed down and turned toward me.

  She reached her hand out to me and, without looking at it, I grabbed on. I was too busy looking at her face. She was beautiful. A unique beauty. And it was here in front of me. She smiled. I thought she would look more grim and determined. To do all that running, surely she had to be determined. But she smiled, showing a set of perfect white teeth as the lightning flashed green in her eyes. She pulled me toward her and I wanted desperately to be out of my clothes.

  I leaned in and kissed her. My entire body had gone cold and her mouth was so very warm. Her hands worked at the button of my pants and my hands worked at the buttons of my shirt. I was happy that I was able to remove it without breaking the kiss. Her tongue entered my mouth. Now my clothes were gone and we moved closer, into each other’s heat. My hands ran over her body, her skin soft beneath. It was like holding a flower.

  Then we were on the ground and I was inside of her. Never breaking the kiss, never drawing away from each other.

  I made the discovery of everything perfect. She felt perfect. She tasted perfect. She smelled perfect.

  I don’t know how long we stayed like that, a storm within the storm. Time didn’t matter anymore. I had discovered where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

  The whole thing built to a shared crescendo. There was a violent gust of wind, a deafening roar, and everything went bone white. She rolled me onto my back and lay on top of me, finally breaking the kiss.

  I smelled smoke and heard wood split.

  “I have to go.” Her whispered breath was warm against my ear.

  “No,” I said.

  “I have to. Tomorrow, we go deeper still.”

  Before I could say anything else, she was going away along the trail, headed back home.

  I stood up and gathered my soggy clothes, slowly trudging back home.

  From the perimeter of the backyard, I noticed things didn’t look right.

  The oak tree was severed. It was less than half its former height. Lying on the ground up by the house, in ruins, was Zerostrata.

  My family waited on the back porch, a blank look on each of their faces.

  “I’m sorry,” Mother said.

  Zasper put his arm around me, something he had never done before. I shrugged it off, got down on my hands and knees and crawled under a piece of Zerostrata’s roof.

  Chapter Fif
teen

  Name

  I woke up to a group of kids throwing rocks at the demolished Zerostrata. I peeked my head out from the shelter and one of the rocks glanced off my forehead.

  “Ow,” I groaned.

  A savage looking child, wearing only a loincloth, stared down at me and said, “Serves you right, you dirty bum. We’re taking this neighborhood back! Taking it back from people like you!”

  He turned and ran off and I crouched there on the lawn, half-in and half-out of Zerostrata, thinking, “But I live here.”

  I turned around to grab my shoes. Startled, I noticed Dr. Blast crouching in the back corner. He was eating a delicious-looking banana, staring at me.

  “So how did it go?”

  “It went great, I think.”

  “That’s good. Have you noticed that things have changed?”

  “Yes. They certainly have.”

  “And do you think they have changed for the better?”

  “Oh, definitely, everyone seems so much happier.”

  “Good. Well, I gotta go.” Then he reached down and started digging in the lawn.

  “You know, that could take days. I could probably get someone to give you a ride back to the office.”

  “Not necessary. Sometimes I like to dig. I’m rather good at it. Also, I find it soothing, relaxing... and it provides me with a very good workout.”

  “Okay then, go right ahead. I won’t disturb you.”

  I left him to his digging and went into the house to get something to eat.

  Walking to the refrigerator, I noticed Mother had left another message scrawled on it. It looked like I had received another call. Actually, studying the scrawls, it looked like I had received two calls.

  This is what the first one said:

  DAMN BUGGER I SEEN YOU FILTHY STUPID STAY AWAY MEEN IT

  The second one was a little more concise. It simply said:

  THE COMMANDER CALLED

  I didn’t know who the hell The Commander was but if I was ever meant to find out then I would, given time.

  I couldn’t wait for the day to pass. I don’t know why I didn’t just go to the girl’s house and knock on her door. I felt embarrassed I didn’t even know her name but that wasn’t the only reason. I knew who else lived there. I knew, without a doubt, it was my cranky old woman caller and there was something about her that greatly disturbed me. She had warned me to stay away. She had forbidden me to come near her and I didn’t feel like testing those waters just yet.