The Warm Glow of Happy Homes Read online

  The maid was gone.

  He was humping and choking a mass of rats.

  They must have come from the house.

  Sure. The fire probably drove them out.

  But what had happened to the maid?

  She was so pretty. So much younger than that other one.

  His erection still didn’t go away. It may have been medically impossible for it to go away. But the sexual desire he’d felt was replaced with an intense rage. He squeezed even harder. Some kind of grunting sound was coming from his mouth and he didn’t mind.

  There was a shriek from overhead and he craned his neck to look at all the space birds swooping toward him. He concentrated on the one closest to him, it was gliding toward his face. He tried to make out the thing dangling from its beak, the same thing that dangled from the rest of the birds’ beaks. He thought it was a heart.

  The bird hit him in the face, knocking him off the mass of wriggling rats.

  The sky glowed orange around him and he imagined the blood of a hundred thousand people illuminating the sky.

  24.

  Alex could make out the scene on the porch. It was King, crouched on Ibbie. It had to be Ibbie. Alex didn’t think of what he would do to King when he caught him. He just wanted to get him off Ibbie. Get Ibbie out of here.

  Before he reached them, he saw King reel back and land on his back like he was having some kind of fit. Since he was temporarily out of the way, Alex went immediately to Ibbie.

  He squatted down next to her. Her eyes were closed. He couldn’t tell if she was breathing or not. The air was filled with choking smoke and it was intensely hot. Alex wondered if he should do anything about King or not. He didn’t seem to have a gun or any type of weapon so he didn’t seem to pose an immediate threat.

  Alex scooped Ibbie up, his main desire to get away from the fire and down to the road. He really hoped Joe would be waiting for them. The last thing he wanted was to be caught on this property after all this shit had gone down.

  He whispered into Ibbie’s ear, “Baby. Baby, are you okay?”

  There wasn’t any response and he wasn’t sure he expected one.

  He heard squealing brakes and looked over toward the driveway.

  It was his car with, presumably, Joe behind the wheel. It was screeching to a stop because there was a man standing in the driveway carrying a suitcase.

  The car didn’t stop fast enough. It hit the man. He didn’t go up on the hood like pedestrians do in movies. He was dragged under the car and the car finally came to a stop somewhere over him. The suitcase he’d been holding exploded. Cash went everywhere. The suitcase, still half full, continued to roll along the driveway.

  Joe got out of the car and started grabbing for the cash.

  Alex didn’t know what Joe was thinking.

  “Joe! Don’t touch it!”

  “What?”

  “Just leave it!”

  “But ...”

  “Yeah, I know. Just leave it.”

  Alex was now at the car. He decided Joe wouldn’t be fast enough so he put Ibbie in the back seat and told Joe to take shotgun. He turned around in the driveway, mangled the yard, and put the two flaming houses and all the other crazy shit behind them. For once, he was glad the hospital was on the good side of town.

  25.

  Barton lay on his back while the birds gathered around him. They were all over him, preventing him from moving his arms or his legs. The largest one hopped onto his chest. It was so large he could actually feel it pressing down on his chest. He thought birds were supposed to be light. Light as a bird. Wasn’t that a popular expression? Or was it light as a feather? He was still conscious of his penis pressing against his shorts, almost painfully. The bird started pecking on his chest. He noticed it was the only one he’d seen that didn’t have a heart dangling from its beak and became suddenly aware of what it was trying to do.

  He screamed and thrashed but it didn’t do any good.

  The bird continued to peck until its beak finally tore through his shirt and then he could feel it breaking through his skin and he thought maybe this was what he wanted anyway. No. He was pretty sure that was stupid. He was pretty sure people couldn’t live without hearts. Unless the magic space birds knew something he didn’t. Maybe they replaced the heart with something else. Something even better. Like maybe a space heart. Barton continued to watch, hoping he was filled with sunshine just like everyone else. But he didn’t see any sunshine pouring out of his wound. Two of the birds plucked out his eyes and everything went black as he felt the large bird sink its head into his chest cavity and pull his heart out.

  Barton thought the absence of a heart would have killed him but it seemed to only heighten his senses. Except for his sense of sight, because he no longer had any eyes. But he didn’t really need them. He’d seen this estate so much over the years it was burned into his mind. And the current vision of it in his head was one of sheer beauty. Houses burning. Dead bodies everywhere. The lawn dug up. Sirens in the distance. And something else.

  William.

  He could sense William.

  He wasn’t that far away.

  Barton didn’t quite think he could stand to walk so he crawled. He could feel something leaking from his empty eye sockets and hoped it was sunshine.

  It didn’t take him as long as he thought it would to reach William.

  William wasn’t moving.

  “William?” Barton said.

  William didn’t answer him.

  Barton pressed his mouth to William’s. He tasted blood and something even worse. Disease or shit or something. Maybe William ate his own shit. Maybe he ate other people’s. Barton had heard of people doing that. He stuck his tongue into William’s mouth. Again, Barton’s attention was drawn to his throbbing penis.

  “William, buddy, I’m gonna put my dick in your mouth. Is that okay?”

  William didn’t answer.

  The sirens drew closer.

  Barton rose to his knees and unzipped his shorts. The warm night air felt great on his penis. He crawled on top of William and tried to guide his penis into the man’s mouth.

  Barton heard voices.

  “Groundskeeper said not to worry, he was just burning off some shrubs.”

  “Jesus. What the fuck?”

  “Hey, look over there.”

  Barton found William’s mouth and began thrusting into it. He wished he had like six dicks to put in there. And he wished William’s mouth was filled with snakes or maybe a bunch of those little lizards. Barton continued to thrust faster. He could see the sunlight on the horizon. It had already circled the earth and come back again. He wondered how he could see it without any eyes and realized it was inside of him. It always was. And then he saw the space birds quickly disappear through a hole in the sky, hiding from the sunlight, hiding from the sunshine exploding inside Barton. Exploding out of Barton and into William’s mouth and everything went silent and calm and warm.

  26.

  Joe wouldn’t shut up. The cheap car was loud enough as it was and Alex was trying to listen for any sound of Ibbie taking a breath. He could have told Joe to monitor if the guy would shut up long enough for Joe to tell him. Alex should have made Joe drive so he could sit with Ibbie, at least to confirm if she were alive or dead. He didn’t know what else he could do.

  “I think I killed that guy. I think I killed that guy. I think I killed that guy. I think I killed that guy.”

  Alex reached over and punched Joe hard on the thigh. “Shut the fuck up!”

  Alex had just thought of something and it wasn’t good. If they took Ibbie to the hospital for smoke inhalation or strangulation and paramedics and ambulances had undoubtedly been dispatched to the King house, it was going to be extremely suspicious. He might as well just drive them to the jail. If it meant Ibbie were going to live, he would gladly do it. But if she were already dead or if her vitals seemed okay, there wasn’t any need to go to the hospital.

  They were alrea
dy at the hospital.

  He pulled into the parking lot rather than drive up to the front door.

  “What are we doing?” Joe asked.

  “I’ll explain later.”

  “I think I killed that guy back there.”

  Alex raised his fist and Joe shut up. Alex got out of the car and opened the back door.

  He hadn’t realized how bad Ibbie had been. Her neck was swollen. Her eyes were open and rolled back in her head. He didn’t need to feel for a pulse or press his cheek against her mouth to feel for breath but he did. He bypassed tears and went immediately into shock.

  Joe had opened the other door and had his head leaned over Ibbie. “Why’s she holding those, Alex? What happened to Ibbie, Alex? What the fuck is going on?” Joe was crying, almost blubbering. “What the fuck is going on, Alex?”

  Alex didn’t answer him. He didn’t see any point in answering him. Didn’t see any point in anything at the moment. He looked at Ibbie’s hands to see what she was holding. Her left hand clutched a rat and her right hand clutched a bird. Alex backed out of the car and shut the door.

  He looked toward the King estate, the orange glow painting the sky. He began walking in the opposite direction. He could hear Joe blubbering and it seemed so far away. He heard Joe get back into the car and start it up. Alex found that he wanted Joe to drive the car into him, from behind, so he didn’t know it was happening until he felt the impact. But he heard the car moving in the opposite direction and Alex turned to see where he was going and watched Joe pull the car onto the main road and drive into the night.

  Also by Andersen Prunty

  Satanic Summer

  Bury the Children in the Yard: Horror Stories

  Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever

  Pray You Die Alone: Horror Stories

  Sunruined: Horror Stories

  Hi I’m a Social Disease: Horror Stories

  The Driver’s Guide to Hitting Pedestrians

  Fuckness

  The Sorrow King

  Slag Attack

  My Fake War

  Morning is Dead

  The Beard

  Zerostrata

  Jack and Mr. Grin

  The Overwhelming Urge